thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
