I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
