Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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