just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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