how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
