quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
