I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
