I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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