Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
