You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
