So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
