Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
