What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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