Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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