This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
