just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
