My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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