So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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