whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
