Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
