I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
