I think i peed on brittanys purse
People in love make me want to vomit
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
3 2 1 whiskey
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize