Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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