I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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