I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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