My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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