Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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