We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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