He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
