you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
