Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
