I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
