you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
