i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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