He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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