Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize