What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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