I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
