I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
