My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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