so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
