I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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