Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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