When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
