just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
