Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
