If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
