You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
