the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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