Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
