Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
