He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
