Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The air was thick with penises
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
