? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
