I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
