I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
