Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
